So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
