Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
