thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
