He had one of those small greek statue penises
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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