I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
