Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize