its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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