Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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