Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
