i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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