Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
