i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
