elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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