Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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