if i can run in heels then i can drive
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
