he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
