Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
