good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
