plz talk dirty to me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
