I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize