READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Redeem this text for a blowjob
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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