I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
