there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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