Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
