I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
