We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
