if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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