Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
