Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
