susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
