you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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