We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
