I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
