Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize