from now on my penis is your penis
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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