My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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