At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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