I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
