It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
