I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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