If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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