It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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