I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
