So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Naked Twister starts at high noon
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
