we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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