Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
