I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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