So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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