Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want to make out with him forever
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
