You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
