I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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