the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
