they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
