I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
