if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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