Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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