You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
