Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
