Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
