I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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