you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
