3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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